Let’s just address this right off. Probably most of you are thinking, “What the hell? Why would I want a list of ways to make me feel horrible?” Reasonable question. I mean, who wants to feel horrible? Not me. Who wants to feel badly about themselves? Probably not you. Who wants to be unhappy? Anyone…? Anyone…? Anyone…? Beuhler…?
It may seem ludicrous to give you a whole bunch of ways to make sure you feel miserable– options to which your logical self would actively say, “No way!” But the really ludicrous thing is that most of us (dare I say ALL?) actually do the things on the following list. And we do them on a fairly regularly (dare I say DAILY?) basis. We do them even though we KNOW they don’t help us feel the good feelings we want to be feeling. Sometimes we know we are doing them. Sometimes we don’t. But we do them. And they are guaranteed to make you feel like ick. ICK!!
It’s the sometimes-we-don’t-know-we-are-doing-it issue that is a BIG PROBLEM. Sometimes these thoughts and behaviors are so ingrained– they run so deep– that they have become habitual responses. By repeating these patterns over and over, we have created habits, but they are habits that hurt us.
Sometimes it can take a swift kick in the tush to help us recognize them and become aware of them. If we aren’t aware of what we are doing or thinking we can’t change anything. No awareness equals being in a prison of our own making. Awareness is KEY. It gives you the opportunity to make a change if you want. And you can change these things. If you want…
So here they are.
20 Sure-Fire Tactics for Making You Feel Miserable:
- Saying mean things to yourself, about yourself– just stop, it’s toxic.
- Hating your body and forgetting what your body does for you everyday. (Hint: you are alive– it keeps you that way.)
- Comparison. This includes: comparing yourself to others, comparing yourself to who you think you should be, comparing yourself to how you used to be. (Remember Theodore Roosevelt– “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Pure truth.)
- Doing things to impress others.
- Chasing after being perfect. (Hint: it doesn’t exist.)
- Looking for and expecting the bad in others or in situations.
- Telling yourself you aren’t good enough because ________ . (Pick your demon. We’ve all got one. Or two…)
- Constantly criticizing yourself or others.
- Holding onto hurts and pains from your past.
- Making decisions from a place of fear. You can’t make your best choices if they are based in fear. You just can’t.
- Punishing yourself or others for past mistakes. We’ve all made them and we can’t change them.
- Not being grateful. (Hint: how often do you forget how much you truly have?)
- Dwelling on negative thoughts. Letting them take root in your mind and rule the day is no bueno.
- Having to be right all the time. (Hint: you’re not and it’s ok.)
- Not saying sorry when you should say you’re sorry.
- Staying in situations (relationships, jobs, etc.) that are not good for you. Get out. Please.
- Blaming others– it’s a dead-end road.
- Not taking care of your body in ways that are good for YOUR body. (YOUR body!!!!)
- Forgetting to take care of your soul– or that you even have a soul to take care of.
- Trying to control things that are out of your control. (Hint: this is almost everything.)
So. Anything on the list resonate? In the spirit of full-disclosure, the list came straight from my own experience of what creates pain and steals peace. So, there you have it…
There are so many things we can do to blot out happiness. There are so many options for creating misery in our days. There are so many ways for us to erode our peace of mind. And sometime those are the only things we see. They become our default method for meeting the day and walking through life.
The really important question at this point is, “Is this how you want to go through your life– constantly making choices that make you feel like shit?” If the answer is a RESOUNDING NO (which I hope it is), you can change how you do things.
You can start by bringing awareness to your thoughts and actions. By recognizing what you are doing that isn’t making you happy, you give yourself a little bit of space before you habitually do the habit to remember that you want to change that habit. And it is in that SPACE that the MAGIC can happen.
You can create a way of living that feels good. You really can. But you have to let go of the things on this list. It can take some time and some effort, but it’s worth it. I mean, you’ve got this ONE LIFE. Isn’t it worth the effort to make it fucking fabulous???